catch up

This week has been a bit of a nightmare. Brian had his second solo interview with our certifier on Friday. He told her a few things I wish he could have left out. Unflattering things about his family, my family, and me. Im not up for candy coating who we all are or lying about anything, as we really have nothing to hide. Its just that some nitty gritty details could have been left out. Brian is like George Washington, he cannot tell a lie. He confessed to me friday evening, his defense was that he wasnt going to lie by omission, and I was saying that they never even asked about these things. He volunteered, and in my opinion embellished. UGH. Anyhow, this cumulated in my accusing him of attempting to sabotage our efforts to be foster parents. I was reptilian and mean about it for the better part of the evening. I simply couldnt stand the thought of having yet ANOTHER thing taken from me, should our application be denied. I finally came around to thinking that it is what it is. Brian is who he is and I wouldnt really want him to be any different. They will either approve us to be foster or adoptive parents or they wont.

Our homestudy is dragging on a bit. I thought the interview on friday would be the last until we did a final interview about placement and the saftey walkthrough. It seems that our certifier wants both of us to go to her office this coming friday to be interviewed on our own, one last time. I will wait in the lobby while brian does his, and then we will switch. All told we will have done 17 hours of interview and soemthing ike 32 hours of classes. Ive been asking around, people who have done this in other states think this process is a bit insane. I phoned my stepmother who works for DHS this morning, and she said its a brand new home study protocol and nobody knows exactly what they are doing. She hasnt done one or seen one yet.

My last day of work came and went without much fanfare. There was a cake, as promised. Ive still plenty to do to get things in order for our future foster children, but am also wondering what to do with myself. I want to take a class this fall, there is a Tango school up the street. Or maybe painting at the community college. Now that Im not doing fertility treatments I want to live like an adult for a while. An adult who has interests other than peeing on various kinds of sticks and spreading her legs for any doctor who will have a peek. I want girls nights out with wine and intellectual stimulation. I want my pre infertility / pregnancy loss life back, but I hardly remember who I was a few years ago. Its going to take a bit of effort.