another bust

Im not pregnant. This brings to an end a long year of trying to get knocked up. My last pregnancy was in July/August of last year. I have no idea why I was able to become pregnant so easily with meds starting 2 years ago and now.. nothing. Im still ovulating Brian is still producing motile sperm. My only thought is that I have an egg quality issue, and it keeps getting worse as I age. When I was in my 20's, I could get pregnant on my own, but had a tendency to bleed / miscarry in early pregnancy. Weather or not I will try again.. ugh. Right now I say no. Im tired beyond measure and sick of having so many hormones in my system. I have felt like the world is caving in on me the past couple of days, and really its just that I stopped my luteal phase progesterone and will soon get my period.

Embryo donation, still being seriously considered. Just not at all sure that i want to keep beating up my ovaries with more clomid.

The social worker was here for 4 hours interviewing Brian today. Its my turn tomorrow. I have 8 more days of work left. My stepfather is coming this weekend to help Brian erect the garden shed. This will give us some much needed storage for the things that are in our spare rooms. Next week I might start painting the children's rooms. I fancy a sort of sky blue with sunshine yellow accents in one room. not sure about the other. Our entire house is painted a light charcoal gray with white wood/ trim. I dont like it, too drab for this part of the country. Still undecided about furnishings. Used or unused. probably best to get a crib and mattress new but Im still on the hunt for dressers/ changing tables. For those of you who have children, how essential is a rocking chair or glider, for an infant? My mother rocked me to sleep every night until I was about 8, I was also breastfed until I was two and a half. I think mom practiced attachment parenting before it had a name. Anyhow, I wonder if most kids enjoy being rocked as much as I did.