Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Just in time for valentines day

My period arrived. These past few periods (post d&c) have been brutal. Heavy flow. Clots. Lots of money spent padding the pocket books of whoever takes the Always brand sanitary napkin profits at proctor and gamble.

So this is clomid cycle four. Im feeling rather frustrated, as I dont know if Im going to respond this time around. I fully expected at least a good strong ovulation last month, if no pregnancy. I dont seem to be experiencing the awful clomid side effects that many other women report. Maybe a mild hot flash here, a twinge of a headache there. I have a pretty good idea of what my chances are of becoming pregnant this time around. Between 10 and 15 % depending on who you ask. If this cycle brings no joy we are taking a break. My sister-in-law is getting married in England this coming May. Right now we intend to be there. Anvil and I will attend the wedding, have our holiday, and think about what we can do apon our return. I have one more clomid cycle with my OB. Then we get thrown to the wolves (aka consults with local RE's). None of this will be paid for by insurance and its a big step from a funding point of view. How the hell do people do it ?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

it was a bad egg

Probably. My seven day post ovulation progesterone draw was 9. 9 is bad. especially for a medicated cycle. My uusal level at that time of the month is 8.5, doctors like to see something above ten on a non medicated cycle, and 15 or better for a clomid cycle. Dr says the egg was to blame. Most likely. She is going to keep me on the same dose of the clomid for now.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

dropped an egg

I appear to have ovulated. According to my bbt chart. Its probably too late in my cycle. Thanks for nothing, ovaries.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

my story thus far

I am trying to get pregnant and carry to term. I met my husband in an msn chat room, Spring of '02. He lived in England and I was in Northern California. We spent many happy months getting to know eachother via email and instant messaging. He started phoning me that winter, and by spring '03 had talked me into an extended visit. I returned 9 months later for an even more extended visit, at which time we decided the only way we would be able to spend time together would be to get married. We looked into work visas, student visas, nothing was feasable. He finished grad school in September of '04 . By that time I was living in Oregon. He arrived at the Seattle airport with a large duffel bag , his laptop comuter, and a mild panic attack. We set up housekeeping in a small apartment and got busy building a life together. Immigration was long and arduous. I went back to school for a while, and Brian found work. We worked hard and paid off student loans. Eventually we purchased a house. The inevitable next step was starting a family.

We had started our married life with a sort of devil-may-care attitude about pregnancy. We wanted children , and had a vauge notion that they would come "later". I think there is still a large package of condoms squirelled away in a box. I was on the pill for a short time but I didnt like the way it made me feel . At some point I noticed that my cycles had been getting shorter and shorter. My OB suggested I start using ovulation predictor kits to check for ovulation. I did get positive sticks, only way too late into my short cycles. In May of '08 my Ob told me that 2 or more years of unprotected sex probably should have yielded a pregnancy. They ran tests. A hysterosalpingogram for me, a semen analysis for Brian. some basic blood work for me. Turns out I had low progesterone. Borderline for ovulation, according to the doctor. She prescribed clomid. By this time I had my husband on board with actually trying to conceive. First cycle of clomid = no pregnancy. Second cycle of clomid in September of '08 = pregnant. Joy ! We couldn't have afforded more expensive interventions. Luck was on our side . 7 week ultrasound showed a strong early heartbeat. 11.5 week ultrasound revealed dead fetus. It was what they call a "missed abortion". D&C operation the next day.

Here I am now. I am 18 days into my first post miscarriage Clomid cycle. I think its a bust. I think I ovulated too late (yesterday). I have been temping, charting, opking, and using message boards like a mad woman. This is all to stave off my sense of impending doom. Feel free to join me during my two week wait ( its always less than that for me) and feel free to leave a comment.