Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I am still here. Not yet set up elsewhere as far as blogging goes. Today we had our 6 month safety inspection for foster care. Our certifier just did a quick walk through. She saw a book about post partum depression and seemed slightly alarmed. I had to promise her that I am really doing a lot better. I really am. Not 100% though. Im not as functional as I would like to be. I am behind in correspondence. I dont check my phone messages quite as often as I should. Or open my mail before its been sitting around for a week or two. Mail and messages make me anxious. I have been much more social lately. On Sunday I had lunch with an old friend. This was Titus' first visit outside our home or a restaurant. Today I went to see my ex boyfriend and 6 day old baby. This is the man that I lived with for quite a few years in my early 20's. The guy that I was with during my first two botched pregnancies. He knew I struggled to get Titus. He didnt tell me that his wife was pregnant until just days before I gave birth. I think he didnt want to say anything until he was pretty sure that I was going to have a baby of my own. He was very upset both times I ended up pregnant way back then, and swore that he didnt want to be a parent and never would. He was only 28 then. He is now 42 and I understand that things change. I cant really explain why, but seeing him with his wife (I hadnt met her before) and new child did something to make me feel better about those pregnancies. It was healing. His wife is just beautiful and they seem so happy. I suppose it feels like things worked out for the best for everyone concerned. I took Titus' newborn sized clothing to them and they gave me fresh eggs from their chickens and some formula samples.

We have been put on the list to take emergency foster placements. For example, if they take a child into care in the middle of the night or on a weekend.  They do understand that we are leaving for England in April so the placement really couldn't be for more than a few weeks. More likely just a few days or a week. When we return we will be open for a longer term placement. Ive been doing some deep cleaning and getting the spare room around.  Preparing for another foster child feels like getting ready to go back to work. I consider this my work, and I look forward to it. Titus and I could use another little friend to keep us company. The certifier has suggested that I join the foster parent advisory group and get my name on the mentor list. I am not sure that I have much wisdom to impart but I felt flattered. I suppose I have some insight for those just starting out.

Still dealing with rats in the dirt basement. Exterminator coming out often. He thinks they are attracted to all the urban chickens in our neighborhood.They like chicken feed. Thank goodness no rodents in the house. We have some things stored down there, including all of my non maternity clothes. I wont go down there and Im afraid that the rats might have somehow gotten into the bins my clothes are stored in. Luckily I dont have much money invested in my wardrobe. In the meantime Im still wearing maternity dresses and tights! You cant really tell.

I saw the girls on Saturday. So sweet in their ballet outfits. I will be watching the eldest one during the day over spring break. The other two will be in daycare.

We are now planning a stop over in Amsterdam rather than Iceland. Easier to fly Portland to Amsterdam then directly to Norwich. This allows us to skip both Seattle and London, saving $$$ in the process. It was a very mild winter in the Pacific northwest. There are already some spring flowers in our garden. The hope is to greatly expand our vegetable garden this year and add a few fruit trees. I couldnt do much garden tending last year because of the pregnancy. Hoping to make up for it this year. Seeing as how we are stuck in this house forever (upside down in mortgage) I might as well make it pretty. Our house is small but our yard is a nice size for a city lot.

I had been stressing over money but that seems to have resolved. We are getting a fat tax return. More than we actually paid. Im not sure how that works, but I will take it this year. This will be the only time we will ever have 4 dependents to claim. Yeehaw!