Sunday, September 16, 2012

Not much to mention

There isn't much happening in the way of trying to conceive. I am down 5 lbs. 10 more to go. Slower than I had anticipated but I have yet to put a huge amount of effort into it. To be honest I have been feeling run down. Maybe is lingering PPD .  I don't feel all that social and I don't want to go anywhere. Except FAR away. I have a dream that I will one day move my family to the pacific coast of mexico. Not get off the grid, just slow waaaay down. The Portland metropolitan area has something like 2.5 million people but it does not feel like a big city. Maybe a big town, still the pace is faster and more hectic than I would prefer. I would love to be in the country. I feel sluggish and generally malcontent. I need to find more productive things to do. Just caring for Titus & 5 year old M often feels like a Herculean task. This sounds like a depressed person. Maybe I am.

The plan is to do a juice fast to kick start things and get rid of this slug/fog feeling.  Exercise is  the key. I have been looking for people to trade child care with so that I can get to the pool and gym.  I have felt like a tube of toothpaste all squeezed out. This is likely in no small part due to the fact that I over extend myself in the caregiving department. 8 foster children in 2 years time. A weird pregnancy and C section delivery. I need time to recharge. Particularly if I want to make a final attempt at producing life.     I can not afford weekly TCM at the moment but it probably wouldn't hurt to get back on the herbs and do what treatments I can.

As far as foster care goes it looks like little M will be moving in with his Dad on the 1st of November. Touch wood. I won't get into the entire story but the Dad has been a real pain in the ass lately. Harassing us on the phone and just not playing very nice. Everyone thinks he might be trying to self sabotage in the 11th hour. M is sweet and gentle. Lots of energy. He started full time kindergarten last week. I have been communicating everything I know to his special Ed teachers. He has an IEP and I am hopeful that he will begin to catch up. Still waiting for a referral for a complete developmental assessment. The hope is that we will have that well under way before he moves in with his father. Dad is 100% in denial about any delays or issues.

Titus is well and just lovely. Nearly walking. We are planning his 1st birthday bash. I almost just called it a blow out. Ha. That might happen too. I STILL can't believe that I have a child and he is nearing the end of his first year.