I am more or less acccustomed to having people say rude, insensitive, or just ignorant things about my infertility. I am also used to hearing folks make similar comments about my recurrent pregnancy loss problem. My first live support group meeting here in portland had my cheeks burning and tears welling in my eyes when a woman told me "youre not infertile, you keep getting pregnant". Im slowly telling family and friends that Brian and I are planning to become foster parents, with a thought to adoption and now everything is turned up a notch. It now appears to be open season on discussing my failed attempts at delivering a baby, and to tell me all about how hard foster parenting is. Regaurdless of weather or not they have ever done it. People also like to recite the myriad reasons they would never do it. The thing is, nobody is asking them to. Brian and I want to do this because we think its the right thing for us. We feel its noble and worthwhile and a fine way to spend our time and resources, both emotional and financial. We dont know if it will end in the dream come true, of getting a child we can keep forever but it MIGHT. After everything I have been through these past couple of years MIGHT sounds pretty darn good. Like my friend "panamahat" mentioned the other day, we have to work with the resources that we have. To quote Bob Dylan "Life is sad, life is a bust, all you can do is do what you must you do what you must do and you do it well".
I suppose Brian and I will have to figure out how to navigate this new sensitive territory. Do you ignore these sorts of questions or comments, or do you attempt to educate people? I know that much of it stems from natural curiosity and concern for our well being and happiness.
If it does happen that I am pregnant during the course of these next few medicated cycles, Im almost certain that we will procede with the foster/ adoptive parenting classes. Brian has agreed to stay at his job another two years if need be. Im feeling like there really is more than one way for us to get to parent, and that we might be surprised by what happens in the end, and that feels good. I get so frustrated when I feel like I am running out of options.
1 day ago