Wednesday, December 19, 2012

My beta on Sunday was 705. Doubling time 43 hours. The OB says this is fine but to go in for more betas if I have more spotting or any pain. I had no spotting yesterday and just light staining on Sunday and Monday. Never enough to make it to my underwear.

They are treating this pregnancy like any other. That means I am not being offered any extra scans. They will probably consent to a few extra fetal heart tones checks in the first trimester if I want. These are done on their crappy portable machine in their office, rather than the fancy one in the radiology department.

I am supposed to start full time daycare for my friend's baby after the new year. The infant bio sibling of the 3 girls that we fostered for almost a year.  I had really been looking forward to it. I still feel up to it but I am afraid she will make other arrangements for the sake of continuity of care. I certainly would if I was in her shoes. I told the family about my pregnancy via email last night so they could carefully weigh their options. I am afraid to check her reply. She knows my risk of miscarriage is fairly high so that has to factor into the decision.

I have been running non stop since Friday night. The holiday parties and errands for our foster son. I was bone tired last night and looking forward to some rest but Titus decided to have a fussy night. I slept in 40 minute intervals and was awoken for good at 4:45. I know, it's a high class problem to have. I grumbled but treasured the hour of snuggle time he allowed me before he decided to play. Titus saw the pediatric urologist for his final post op checkup. He did spring a leak mid shaft. This is called a fistula and there was a 20% chance of it occurring. He will have a second surgery in February. He also has an undescended testicle. I suppose they will correct that within a couple of months of the fistula repair. Hypospadias and undescended testicles are on the same gene and often go together. If we get everything corrected Titus should have normal sexual function as an adult. The urologist really wants him to see the pediatric endocrinologist. Titus is still so very small. He is 13 months old and wears size 6 month trousers. 9 month if they are rolled up at the top. At last check he was 28 inches and just under 17 lbs. 2nd percentile for height but way off the chart  for weight. We will see his pediatrician on the 7th of January and speak about a referral.  Developmentally he is right on target. Not walking yet but has taken some unassisted steps. He talks! He says hello, don't, wha dat? truck, dadda, and do again. He self feeds and will eat just about anything. Cheese is his favorite food. He is also rather fond of pasta.

The plan is to take it easy the next few days. I can't really compare pregnancy symptoms this time to my pregnancy with Titus, because I did not find out last time until 6.5 weeks. I seem to remember just feeling tired up to that point. I did not start getting sick until 8 weeks. I will be relieved if and when nausea sets in. It kept me sane through the bleeding last time because I just knew I couldn't be that sick and have miscarried. I lost all symptoms 2 weeks before they discovered my missed miscarriage in 2008. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Beta was 300. Doubling time about 48 hours.  I will have another one tomorrow which should be more telling. I got the blood draw and then went and ate lunch at the cafeteria where their wifi connection enabled me to get my own result online about a half hour later. Beats the hell out of waiting in a stuffy, windowless room for a clumsy advice nurse to come in and break the news to me. Which I did several times before. The hospital cafeteria actually has a very good salad bar and if you sit by the window you can look at their garden which has a large fountain.

I have family coming today for a Christmas thing then am giving a baby shower for my bff tomorrow. I am tired though and feeling emotionally vulnerable and wimpy. I would much prefer to cancel everything and crawl into bed for a couple of days.

Friday, December 14, 2012

spotting of course

What a fool I was to think I might be able to have a normal pregnancy with no early bleeding. 5 times bleeding has been bad news. 1 time it was just scary as hell for 15 weeks.

I suppose I have to call the nurse advice line and wait on the phone for an hour to see if I can get a second beta today.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


My HCG beta blood draw results are in. 81 at aprox 12 - 13 days past ovulation.  I took a final home pregnancy test today and the line was much darker than yesterday when I had the blood work done. Leading me to believe that the hormone level is doubling up as it should. This is the first time that I have had normal betas at this point in a pregnancy.

I see the midwife the first week of January. Looks like they will alternate visits between the midwife and OB. Lets see if I can wait that long for a live baby check. I might freak out and need an ultrasound between 6 & 7 weeks. I do not wish to waste medical resources but on the other hand, with my history, I doubt they would deny me a quick peek.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

It happened fast

I am pregnant. Very very early days. If you know me in real life not a word, not a word. We wouldn't tell until after I got out of the first trimester. That is still a big if with my history. 

Brian and I just have to hold on tight and hope for the best. It's hard not to work out a due date. Mid August I suppose. 

I already feel like shit. That has to be a good sign? I tested positive early. About 9 dpo yesterday. I always tested positive late and had low starting betas when I miscarried. Beta hell begins on Monday. My OB wants them.