The waiting

Everything is set up for a good outcome this cycle. It looks like the month I got pregnant, I ovulated on the correct day. I could let myself become very excited, the problem is that I read too much. I know the stats. I find myself struggling to put a happy spin on it. I chat with all these super optimistic women. They can be 4 years into infertility treatments with 5 miscarriages and a still birth under their belts, and still just KNOW that next month is going to be THE month. I don't know if its stupidity or blind faith. I suppose they keep hoping because the have to, what do you do when you give up on something like that ? nobody wants to admit defeat when they have been putting up a brave fight.

Friday is my 33rd birthday. I also go in to get my progesterone drawn to confirm ovulation for this cycle. From what I understand, it is not at all easy to get blood out of me. In June it took three different phlebotomists no less than nine collective attempts to get two small vials of blood. I once had a lab tech call me "the turnip" because they just cant get the blood out. Anyhow, going in for that poking on my birthday is adding insult to injury. I don't mind the pain, its just the inconvenience,, I always end up telling them I'm so sorry to take up so much of their time.

I have 8 more days in the dreaded wait. If I am pregnant this cycle, my due date will be November 20th, My husband's birthday. I couldnt imagine a nicer gift.