chaos

I meant to update a bit sooner, but its been a circus around here. Social workers, lawyers, boys, activities, car shopping, boys, toys, shopping, eating, eating , eating. The boys went from eating nearly nothing to consuming massive portions and wanting to eat all the time. Knowing what we do now about their legal situation, we are assuming they will be here at least 6 months, if not a year. It started as an emergency weekend placement. The social worker and court appointed lawyer are busy trying to find suitable family for long term placement or adoption. So far it's not looking so great this side of the border. If they find family in Mexico, then they will have to deal with the mexican consulate and that can be a long, tedious process. I really wish I could post pictures so you could all see the cuteness. I can easily tell them apart these days, and wonder why I couldnt at first. D has a rounder face and weighs more. B is more verbal and makes a lot of silly faces. Their grandmother wanted me to know that they speak almost no spanish. They also dont speak English. B has about 10 words, D only 4 or 5. Average for two is something like 50. They see a doctor next week and it will be interesting to know how much they weigh, how tall etc.

My life is 100% wrapped up in these boys. Everything else seems a bit trivial. I still want to attempt a donor embryo pregnancy, but It will probably wait until they are either with family or available for adoption. I have gone from being my husband's sun moon and stars, to playing second (third) fiddle to the twins. Its amazing to see him with them and gives me all sorts of warm fuzzy feelings. It feels like a family, even if its not forever.

boys

Im not sure how much I can share on this blog. I guess I can say that the boys were taken from a big drug bust. Their caseworker goes to court on Monday, then we will know more. Its hard not to hope that they will stay at least for a few months. They are clean and well cared for, but not bilingual as they told me on the phone yesterday. They only speak Spanish, and some twin gibberish, and not much at all. They do say mama? (looking for her everywhere) mine! and no! They cried and cried and screamed for the better part of yesterday evening. Bloody murder. Today they awoke crying, then just the occasional sniffle and huge tear. Asking for mama and grandma.At the risk of sounding cliche, I will say that I am bone tired already. My mother was here today to help. Its very emotional having them here because they are so sad. They have a new stroller, and are very very fond of it. Relaxed enough this afternoon to play a bit. Not eating much of anything. between the two of them today they consumed 4 small packets of animal crackers, two fish fingers, 2.5 bananas, 16 oz milk and 24 oz watered down juice. And all of my glass of icewater when I wasnt looking. So far I say ist been worth the classes and the invasive homestudy. Just to be able to give these frightened little boys some of what they need.

arrived

I have twin two year olds sleeping in my nursery. They are 26 months,identical boys, big for their age, hispanic, beautiful, and very upset. more tomorrow.