Sunday, June 9, 2013

Weighing in

I have been trying to come to terms with all of my pregnancy complications. Combined and compounded.

1. Even though things are holding steady for now, I still have the cervical competency issue. That could go to hell at any time.

2. Polyhydramnios is not resolving with better controlled blood sugars. The weight of the litre or two of surplus fluid is making it difficult for me to breath. Extra weight also = extra pressure on my cervix. Which is the last thing it needs. There are all sorts of risks associated with polyhydramnios. Preterm labor being one of them. I think cord prolapse is somewhere on that list. An amniotic reduction is likely in my future. That makes me nervous too with its risk of infection, triggering pre term labor, etc.

3. I can't even remember if I told you that I now have a gestational diabetes diagnosis. This is causing a great deal of excessive amniotic fluid. At least they THINK that is whats causing it.  There are all sorts of other nasty things which can cause "poly". The gestational diabetes is causing the baby to be extra, extra large. Which again puts extra pressure on the old cervix. I worry about the health of the baby, head and tummy are measuring about a month ahead.

4. I am on insulin for my GD. It is my understanding that insulin does a number on the placenta. For that reason my MFM says this baby is coming out at 38 weeks (assuming I don't literally pop before then).  People who have had a previous C section may not have an induction. Which means another planned C section despite my desire for vbac. Lord, I just wanted something normal.  I worry that the diabetes will necessitate a NICU stay, even if we do make it to 38 weeks.

5. Due to the extra fluid and big baby, last week my 29 week tummy measured 37 weeks. I am just as big as I was full term last time, with 8 weeks to go.  This sucker is heavy to lug around. I get out of breathe just taking a load of laundry out of the dryer or sweeping the living room. The ultrasound tech told me that it is very much like being pregnant with twins or triplets. With my continued restricted activity I feel pretty much 100% useless. As a mother, wife, house keeper, you name it. This has done a number on my self esteem for sure.

It is an effort to sort out my paranoia and anxiety from real dangers here. I am thinking that I will need to write it all down and present my concerns to the doctor when I have the next growth scan this coming week.

There are some good things going on. Titus delights daily. He can now sing twinkle twinkle little star. He has become so much more physical, he wants to climb and run and tumble. I have constant company because I still can't lift him. So I am a lot less lonely than I have been in a year or two. I am still sleeping reasonably well. Despite the heavy belly. Last time I was an insomniac wreck by this far along. Titus seems to be finished cutting the worst of his teeth and is sleeping through the night for the first time in... forever.

My actual weight gain is very reasonable. 10 lbs @ 29 weeks and the midwife reckons that a good portion of that is fluid. I was over weight to start and with the GD, a lower weight gain is a good thing. After having spent 2 weeks in bed I am still pleased to be up and about as much as is reasonable. I wear a brace for pelvic support while walking. I can take two brief walks per day. I am also allowed to do some light swimming which I need to start doing a few times per week. Seeing the dietitian has improved my overall nutrition. The insulin has provided me with much improved mental clarity. I had no idea how run down and gross I was feeling. I am still not sure how I passed the first 3 hour they gave me and failed the second. I guess GD comes on later and quick in a pregnancy.  In retrospect I think it is quite possible that I developed it a bit later in my pregnancy with Titus.  He had two of the classic newborn symptoms. Low blood sugar and a bad case of jaundice. Although he was not a big baby. I will be delivering this babe at same place as last time (no water birth with the midwife at the low risk place, sniff sniff)  They have a NICU if need be.

Doing my best to balance family life with anxiety and discomfort without feeling like a massive burden on everyone around me. Trying to stay as playful and agile as possible for Titus.  My daily routine consists of 4 finger prick glucose level checks and 2 injections of of insulin into the tummy. I have to eat 6 times per day and feel like everything revolves around my gestational diabetes. I have no idea how people do this and work. It is all consuming, at least at first.

Here we have a recent picture of Titus. An image of my massive belly, and the most recent ultrasound pic of baby August.

I will leave you with these.

1 comment:

  1. That is a lot to be dealing with, no wonder you have some anxieties! Can't believe how big your belly is. I hope that if things can't get better then at least they don;t get any worse from here on in. Hang in there! xx