Thursday, September 16, 2010

Sitting tight

Time is moving slowly at my house. I've been biding my time. Pottering about the nursery. The crib arrived and I put it togther by myself. Not so lucky with the changing table, which required Brian who drank beer and sang along with the Smiths while erecting the thing. Showing that he is both manly and sensitive. Heh. My mother and I have been second hand shopping. I have a few outfits for preschool or toddler aged children. Jeans, sweaters, pajamas. There are lots of baby things, sleepers, onsies, receiving blankets, bottles, crib bedding. I feel like a big imposter, of course. Be that as it may, there will be flesh and blood children inhabiting these beds and these clothes in the near future. I just wish there wasnt such a wait. Always the WAIT.

The saftey inspection went fine. Social worker claims to be "almost finished" with the rough draft of the homestudy write up. She sent an email yesterday, saying that Brian told her I had cancer in my teens. What?! I did have a tumor. A giant fibroid aidenoma in my right breast, had a pretty good scare but they took it out and said it wasnt malignant. I was 19. Anyhow, I guess Brian never really got the gist of that whole story considering that it took place years before I met him. He thought it was cancer, she wanted to know what my prognosis was. Im pretty sure she thought I was hiding that from her. Ha! Funny now but how akward.

Ive been out numbered by Brian and my OB. They both say to try another 2 or 3 clomid cycles, so here we go again in the next few days. This cycle I will skip the luteal phase progesterone, and get my 7 dpo level taken to try to confirm ovulation. OB agreed to this as the suppliments were the RE's idea.

I am planning a trip to Iceland and the UK for November of 2011. We will rent a little flat near the sea in Norfolk for a couple of weeks (not too far from Brian's parents) then spend a week in Reykjavik which is supposed to be beautiful that time of year. There is that to look forward to and to plan things around.


  1. I SO know your feeling about being/ feeling like an impostor. When we registered at Babies r Us in March, and then at Target a few weeks later, we had just gotten on the waiting families list. They asked for due dates, gender, etc. Nothing like specific questions to remind me I wasn't registering for a "real" baby. BUT, Jackson is very much real, I just had to hold him in my heart as that until he made his arrival. I hope you can do the same.

    So exciting about the Iceland trip - what an amazing thing to look forward to!!

  2. Glad things are moving, albeit slowly. I'm jealous of your planned holiday to Iceland and U.K.! Hope the upcoming clomid cycles are bearable (and of course always the hope that one will turn into a live baby). Are things sorted out with the social worker and her misunderstanding? Awkward!

  3. Just dropping by to return your Hi!
    I desperate to start shopping, but as we don't know anything about the child we are going to adopt, I'm not. I do occasionally pick up books and toys that either gender could use, but I'm trying really hard to be good.
    Looking forward to reading more of your story!