Thursday, April 7, 2011

mental state

not so great. I have an ultrasound in the morning, and almost expect to find a heart that stopped beating. I would give anything not to think like that.. but this is what has always taken place. Brian will go with me.. its first thing in the morning so at least I wont have all day to fret over it.

here is a list of reasons to hope for the best

1. Ive felt far worse with this pregnancy than any of my others, horrible gas, sour stomach, the feeling of having been run over with a cement mixer. The occasional gag and wave of sickness.

2. That healthy heartbeat. i know I have seen one before, but it is still a good sign for any pregnancy.

3. even people with unexplained RPL stand a decent chance of going to term with each pregnancy.

Here are the reasons it could be doomed

1. all the others have been
2. I had some cramping last night that was bad enough to wake me (could have been gas)
3. that early bleed
4. As far as I can work out, I must be measuring 4-5 days behind.. as far as possible conception date goes.


  1. I know the feeling. I still can't believe I made it through all that and have my daughter now. But, history doesn't ALWAYS have to be your future! Don't worry about where the baby measures - one little itty bitty milimeter for that arrow on those machines can mean days, so it's not very accurate when babies are this small. And I had insane cramping with my pregnancy at big growth points, it was just the baby and my uterus growing! Hang in there, girl! Waiting to hear an update!

  2. Try to have confidence - and I know that is difficult. I will be thinking of you.