Monday, June 14, 2010


I wanted to have a little whine. I am ill, came down with a sort of shallow cough a couple of weeks ago which has progressed into a hacking, productive cough, which has since devolved into a wheezy, hurting, gasping for air. I need to get myself back into the doctor. Im calling it bronchitis and hoping they wont think its bacterial and that I need antibiotics. I am on cycle day 11 and dont want to take any drugs. Im worried that this months TTC efforts will be fruitless because of the illness. I was sick before ovulation time last cycle too. It just feels like a waste of time and a waste of clomid and I am seriously too sick to be participating in procreation type activities. But the show must go on, cue the Marvin Gaye. We managed last year in searing 100 degree heat, 93 degrees indoors at midnight, and I did get pregnant that cycle although I didnt stay pregnant very long. Im sick of everything being so forced and planned. It was old two years ago, now it seems like a bad joke.

My HSG was awful and painful, but the tubes are clear and the old uterus seems to be in good shape. The radiolgist told me only 2% of women who do the procedure, complain of that sort of pain. Im not sure where he got that stat, but you know. Go figure.

I just noticed that my last post was written on what would have been the first birthday of my "june baby" had he or she made it. June 8th. Thats the one that I really thought was going to be my take home baby. sigh. If they make it 9 weeks, with a heart and little arms and everything, why cant they stick around? It makes no sense.

Foster parenting classes still humming along for the most part, had to skip the one this evening, and wont be able to take it until the first week of August, which pushes our "graduation" back a week or two.

1 comment:

  1. Oh hun, so sorry you are sick. I've gotten pg while on antibiotics, though, so you never know. It's all random.

    I'll never understand why my baby, with three perfect ultrasounds, arms, legs, etc just died. I don't think we'll ever know. That's what is so hard....

    Hang in there girl...